Hello this is Ted Stevens and I’m with Bob McGee and we are here for the third game of the World Series in beautiful downtown St. Louis

Bob what the hell are you doing?

I’m just trying to get something out of my teeth Ted I just had a beautiful sandwich and sometimes because I have a bridge

Bridge. It’s funny you mention bridge. bridge over the river Kwai, one of my favorite movies.

Ted, I don’t think that’s neither hithor or thithor

hithor or thithor what a great Vaudeville team they were

Bob where are the players for this third game of the World Series

They are not to be seen here Ted we have not seen any of the players yet and I think it has something to do with that lost plane in Malaysia

Bob that can’t be because they were here for game two and then they flew to St. Louis here today by the way, have you noticed that on flights they are jamming more and more people in?

Speaking about jamming Bob, you know I think signals have been jammed a lot lately on my phone you know Eddie Snowden who got sent to Russia he warned us about the NSA and the jamming of signals

Bob, i don’t think we want to talk about that we have a great pitching match-up if the players show up, we have Steve Reynolds, who has one of the best fastball I have ever seen. Of course I went blind recently in a hunting accident.

Hey, I know we want to not be discriminating, but I don’t think you should be calling this game blind.

You know you are the kind of person who always makes people feel bad. I am blind, but I could tell by the sound of the ball and the bad and the roar of the crowd what is going on.

All right, Ted if you want to say that, but yes Reynolds does have a great fastball. by the way what were you trying to shoot when you got hit in that hunting accident?

I was trying to shoot the wife

The wife? that’s not hunting that’s murder

Nope. we have a game we play. have you seen the hunger games?

No, I don’t wanna watch that teenage shit

It isn’t teenage shit, Bob, it’s really…
Oh, the players are just going on the field now. Here they come. Johnson at third base.

Ted, nobody Is fucking there OK you’re blind, there’s nobody there. The crowd was roaring because somebody ran onto the field naked.

My mistake folks we just have a streaker. The players still not seen. It could have something to do with a black box at the bottom of the Asian sea. By the way, have you ever had the Chinese food downtown here, Bob?

Yes, I have, Ted, and it is great Chinese food but you know what’s even more interesting? In the bathroom of that Chinese restaurant, there’s always a gun taped to the back of the paper towel dispenser.

That is a great reference to the Godfather, Ted.

But I’m being serious here. There’s a gun in the bathroom of this Chinese restaurant and the other day I just.. Oh the players are coming out to the field now Ted

They are. The players are coming onto the field. Apparently their plane did make it there’s no black box or any kind of crap like that, 30 days of CNN going where the fuck is it? They are here. The players are here Johnson at third, Reynolds at second. Basuki is at first. Priamo is pitching. What an international team this is.

Ted, you know I just want to say this I just wanna finish off that story about the Chinese restaurant. I was able to get the gun off that dispenser and I went into the restaurant with the gun and I demanded free egg fu yung. I demand free eggrolls, and guess what? I got em. I got em. You know?

That’s great Bob, here’s the first pitch line drive set a field that one’s in the gap. In the gap, by the way, what ever happened to the gap Bob? They used to have really kind of nice comfortable clothing and I don’t even think they’re around anymore.

No, Ted, they aren’t around anymore and I don’t even think is the banana republic.

Speaking of banana republics, there’s a lot of problems in Venezuela.

That’s right, Ted, Venezuela. we are trying to interfere with Venezuela to get their oil. Boy, that would be a big coup for us. Having more oil.

That certainly would, Bob . Here’s the pitch from Johnson. It’s a ground ball to second base.

By the way, Ted, I once got to second base on a girl name Frida. She was a painter ever hear of Frida Kahlo?

Yes, I have five Frida Kahlo. Great painter, great woman, great novelist.

By the way, speaking of novels, Bob, you ever read on a train just to pass the time?

Are you kidding? I love to read on a train as a matter of fact I got a little song about reading on a train it goes something like this.